8 Things That Are Wrong About Big Fat Indian Weddings

Everything that seems fine at first glance isn’t always fine. There’s very little chance of you finding anything wrong with the things you are doing or the way you are doing the things. And most of the time we need someone who’s not involved with us to make us realize what’s wrong. The big fat Indian wedding ceremonies, where everything looks merry and bright, in fact makes you do many unnecessary things which you might regret in future. Many understand the needlessness of the grandeur of such ceremonies but they still go for it citing one or the reason only to regret the decision later. Those who already committed this mistake can not be saved but here are some insights about the factors that are fallacious about weddings for those who are still to make the decision.

Cost: 

The cost of marriage is intangible, but here we are discussing the literal monetary cost we need to bear for a marriage ceremony. Everything relevant to wedding ceremony becomes unreasonably  expensive, the sum of amount you pay for a particular product or service for wedding is almost double of what you would have to pay to acquire the same at any other occasion. The expense varies according financial status of the parties involved but one thing is sure that it will be more than what they could easily afford.

There was a big uproar about huge expenses in some Ambani wedding ceremony but in my opinion more stupid are those who have annual income of 8 lakh rupees and ready to spend more than 20 lakh on a one day ceremony. These ceremonies may have become status symbols but what’s the point in showing off when your actual financial status lacks the charm. People are often seen borrowing money for wedding which is no different than taking a loan for partying in Bangkok.

Waste of resources: 

All the otherwise miser parents and relatives suddenly become so generous at spending when it comes to weddings. They go gaga over buying new things and dishing out the old items which for no reason a millennial can understand they have hoarded for a lifetime. Their generosity doesn’t stop here, they want everything in excess, be it flowers, jewellery, robes, food, tent or anything. Their excitement level is so high that they don’t even care about wastage. 

Photographs: 

‘Why on earth you wished to get clicked in that pose?’ The question I ask to self every time I see someone’s wedding album. They look like items on sale to which the photographer trying to make look good. All spiritual and political leaders have failed but through the almost identical poses in everyone’s wedding photos and too much of post production editing the photographers have brought equality to the world, at least in photos. Everyone looks same in wedding photos. As if this wasn’t enough they came up with another thing called pre-wedding photo-shoot. And this whole affair is expensive, the so called photographer who would otherwise wait whole day in his studio for someone to show up for a passport size photograph so that he could earn 50 rupees, charges not less than 25 thousand for a day at wedding.

Abuse of alcohol: 

I don’t know how and when alcohol became part of Indian wedding but no one can deny that it has. Many guest behave as if it’s not a choice and that they need to drink at the wedding. And their need doesn’t stop at one or two drinks. Here their drinking capacity becomes the parameter to prove their manhood, so they keep proving it until they pass out. With rising alcohol level rises their voice and lowers their ability to talk logically. It’s so common that someone who is drunk will make some inappropriate comment. And this mark will be in bad taste most of the time.

Dirty dances: 

Be it evening sangeet or baraat, it looks like audition for pogo channel. No matter how expensive choreographer they hire, most of the dances are turn out to be funny, boring or ridiculous. At sangeet most of the “performers” doesn’t even want to dance. But it comes to them as one of the wedding compulsions. The baraat happens in another dimension, friends of the groom detach themselves from reality for this period. They want to shake whatever the part of their body is still movable. In the middle of the street, even if it’s getting late for the wedding, even if only one or two of them are moving, even in scorching heat of May afternoon. I bet nobody realizes how it looks to someone who is not involved in this dull-wittedness.

Time consumed: 

We have wedding planners, event managers and all inclusive packages nowadays. But still the family and the close relatives have to devote almost a month for preparations. Even who are not so close have to travel and spend at least 2-3 days for the wedding. Many times one doesn’t want to attend the wedding due to some other priorities. But he/she has to because social obligations. Or the thought that if we won’t go to theirs they won’t come to ours.

Clothes and makeup: 

Dressed in Sherwani with a sword and headgear, trying to imitate a Maharajah while looking like a clown the groom passes through the street on a rented horse. And the bride who would other wise travel by a shared auto hanging to a door instead of cab to save 20 rupees now draped in a lehnga costing a lakh rupees or more, plastered with 2mm thick makeup and burdened with kilo of jewellery. I fail to understand purpose of this exercise. 

Customs and rituals:

Donating your daughter as if she’s a thing. Washing groom’s feet, throwing edible things like rice and grains at bride and groom. Paying and accepting dowry even if it’s illegal, exchange of gifts, compulsion of mangalsutra and foot long stack of bangles. And the list of villainous customs just starts here. If I go on with regional rituals then I might have to spend my remaining life typing it.
These are just some things off the top of my head which seem wrong to me, there are many more. Let me know in comment the things that you find wrong about big fat Indian weddings.